Monday, September 22, 2014

Why it's OK to be single

In Hawaii- 2008

While trying to decide what I wanted to write about this week, I was in the middle of a conversation about my single-status so naturally this post is the product of that topic.

I've done a lot of thinking on this matter, but I always have the same question: Why, in a society that (now) encourages women to be CEO's and to be equal with our male counterparts, are women still constantly harassed if we aren't dating someone, engaged or married?

Personally, I would like to get married some day, have a family and still do something that I'm passionate about, but I'm in no hurry. I am only 23-years-old, fresh out of college, in my first real job, yet I'm constantly harassed regarding this issue. 

Whether you're the first child looking to set an example or the last hoping to meet the same expectations as those who came before you, enough is enough. Set your own bar, live life on your own timeline and enjoy your single time while you still can, because once someone else is in your life even some very basic aspects of your single-status will change forever. 

I want to remind all the single ladies out there why it's OK to be single and, better yet, why you should enjoy this time.


1. You Can Be Spontaneous

Now is the time to travel on a whim and make same-day plans. I think it's a shame that the word "selfish" only has a negative connotation because, not only do I think it's ok to be selfish in your 20s, but I think you should be! I'm not telling you to be a bad friend or daughter, but that it's ok to do things for your own benefit.

2. Get To Know Yourself

What are your political, religious and social views? Are you for or against GMO labels on food? What do you value in a person? These are the types of questions you should at least start asking yourself and it's important that you come to a decision on your own. Don't believe something because your parents told you it was true or because your boyfriend is all for it. 

3. Meet A Ton Of Guys And Ask Even More Questions

Go out, use Tinder and socialize! This is the time when it's socially acceptable. When I was an intern, one of the women who worked there said, "Getting old sucks. Sleep with as many men as you can at your age." Not that I'm recommending that, but the point still stands - this is the time to be young, flirt and have fun! I say ask a ton of questions because you need to make sure that the person you're going to spend your life with is right for you. The divorce rate in America is insane. My parents aren't perfect people but they're perfect together and that is the kind of relationship I'm looking for. 

4. Advance In A Career

Listen, if I found an attractive, normal and wealthy guy, I'd probably be satisfied with being a stay-at-home-mom but that's not reality, at least not right now. I actually really enjoy my job, the people I work with and the feeling I get when I produce something great. Don't you owe it to yourself to do something meaningful? I'm not saying a relationship isn't, because I've had some really great ones that still mean a lot to me but it's a different kind of meaning. 

5. Learning How To Save Your Money

I want to save and actually be able to plan what i'm going to buy. I am looking forward to being able to buy my siblings and parents gifts, planning out trips with friends and being smarter in general about what I spend. It's much easier to figure these things out when you only have to worry about yourself. 

6. Building Friendships

When you're single you have the opportunity to grow your current friendships and build new ones. When you're in a relationship, the focus is usually just on each other. You should experience being able to have that time with friends without feeling guilty. 


The important takeaway here is that it's ok to be single and it's ok to be in a relationship. Do whatever makes you happy and whatever works for your time frame. You may not be where you expected to be in life, but don't let anyone make you reevaluate your happiness because of societal norms.


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